The Lair Awaits

I have been home for almost four days and here is the list of things that I have done.

1. Helped my dad out at work.
2. Celebrated my Mum's birthday
3. Visited my grandmother - she felt and broke her pelvis but she is all better now.
4. Got a haircut
5. Had dinner at a new restaurant - the salmon was superb!
6. I was baptized :) finally I had received my Father's approval.
7. Watched House MD on YouTube - Season Four Episode One to Seven.
8. Met my high school friend (and her adorable daughter!)
9. Registered myself to Facebook
10. And now updating my blog that has been desolated for the past few days....

Still have plenty more to do before I start my industrial training at the 1st December for two whole months. Such as....

1. Celebrate my grandmother's birthday
2. Practice my driving and know the way to work
3. Help Mum in clothes hunting
4. Results coming out soon... dread...
5. Meet up with another of my high school friend
and etc.

In short, I'm HOME!

REBORN

I've got BAPTIZED this morning!!!!!!! SO HAPPY!!!!!

Aren't you satisfied and thankful
that our Lord has brought you in
where His pleasures and His riches flow so free?
So be happy and be joyful, in the spirit feast on Him,
so God's garden can bear fruit abundantly.

I'm so happy in this lovely place,
in the garden growing in His grace!
There is no finer pleasure than to eat the living tree,
and to get the living water into me.

What Should I Do?

At this very particular moment, I wish I could scream, I wish I could throw a tantrum and I wish I could slap or hurt somebody. Three wishes. If Genies do exist, I know I will regret it.

I just had to get out of the house. Too suffocating for me. Walking did relieve a little of the mix emotions that I am having this early morning. It made me breathe and also did calm me down. However, as I am typing this post, all the anger, frustrations, humiliations, guilt, sorrow and hate are slowing creeping back in to the chambers of my soul. It's always the little things that bothered me. ALWAYS. It is never the big things. Um... well... this time is quite big... at least to me. I still think I deserve to be respected as a friend or as a sister. I have my dignity too. I tried. I tried. I just can't stand it anymore. Here it goes again, my mind is now filling with doctrinal truths. I don't even know how to act anymore. Now I know why I can't open up or tell them how I feel, because I have obtained my Dad's genes.

I was thinking a lot lately about my youth. I remembered when I was younger, I was cheerful and not much worries. I guess it's because I confined a lot of my problems to my Mum and she is always there to guide me and made me see the positive part of the whole situation. I still confined my problems to my Mum but I realize she can't always give me the recipe to solve the situation. I can't always depend on her to fight my battles. I need to face them myself, or else how am I suppose to grow up? I wish I could just let time pass by and let it take its toil of the entire situation. I don't think I want to do that anymore. It's tiring and it's too fake. But how? Right now, I don't even want to see her face or talk to her. To be quite honest, I don't know what I want from her. I don't think I want an apology, neither do I want her to pretend nothing ever happen. I just don't know how to act anymore. Be myself - to scream at her? I would love to do that but I know I won't. I don't think I want to either. I am ignoring her already. Not be myself - accept what had happen, forgive her and just move on? Did that too many times, it's building up in me.

At least I feel much better now. Writing does relieve me. Anyway, I want to go and get something to eat. I just came out of the house with an empty stomach. Till next time~

One Step A Day to Realize Something New

Another paper to totally forget about, Physiology. I still have two more papers to go and I'll be free from examinations for three months, I think... After the exam, took the time to have an early dinner with some of my house-sisters. Often I thought to myself that, we are all different people, coming from diverse cultures, brought up by parents with various perspectives in life and we are only brought together to stay in the same house because we believe in God. Through today's early dinner, I found that we are quite common in some ways. We get irritated at times, we like to have our own space, we like to pretend we don't mind about certain things because we don't want trouble, we always figured these things will soon pass away and we figured something better will come our way. The truth is... yes these things will soon pass away and something better will come our way but whether we take the time to overcome the problems that we face or the time to know the people around us, that is the real lesson that should be paid attention to. I never knew some of them are facing the same situations as I did and still do. I just realized time is constantly flying by and it's too precious to just let it go just like that. Some of my house-sisters are going to depart soon and follow the paths which God had prepared for them. Though time may not be on my side this time, I do hope I do get the chance to know them even more in times to come, even though there is a possibility that I do not get to see them anymore.

So, if you are reading this, you know who you are. In faith, I know we shall meet again. From the bottom of my heart, I wish you guys all the best and God's grace is definitely sufficient for us in every situations and every obstacles that we face. I will miss you guys dearly! Do keep in touch.

Howl's Moving Castle

I haven't watch any shows since my last trip to the cinema to watch Transformers. Yes, it has been a long time. As I was resting, got my mind off my books and exams for a day, my housemate recommended me to watch an anime, Howl's Moving Castle. It's really a fantasy story about wizardry and love. It's is quite nice and humourous to entertain your temporary soulish pleasures. It does bring out your inner child within you, making one believe in fairy tales again. Then again, reality is always at the door, you can't run away from it no matter how hard you try. And as of right now, I need to face reality. It is time for me to gety back to my studies. I've been spending too much time in front of the computer already. Toodles~!

It's doesn't look like a castle does it?

Mercy

Finally a moment for me to catch my breath. So far I have already sat for three papers and I still three more to go. The next paper will start next which gives me ample of time to prepare. I really gotta say, the Lord really blessed me with His presence during my examination for my past three papers. I knew I didn't study all the syllabus required for the examination, but the Lord really had mercy on me and help me got through it. I really Praise Him for being a merciful God. Though I had anxiety attack before the day of examination, the Lord had grant me peace and comfort. This really strengthen my consecration to Him. I won't tell you what I have consecrated but you will know soon enough. Praise Him!