I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be

It's been five weeks since I last strummed my guitar... It's been so quiet lately, I guess I missed the sound of music playing in the house.

This is officially the third week of classes and I am still in sloth mode. Gosh, I just do not have the will to concentrate on my studies. I mean, I excused myself for the first two weeks when the semester started, but this is the THIRD WEEK already, I better stopped being so ignorant. It's Monday and I went for the lectures.... -.-lll I am completely clueless about what the lecturers were trying to deliver. Moreover, I have a lab report due this Wednesday and I am still far from close to finishing it. Somehow it just 14 days I went back to my old habits... Sigh...

Definitely NOT a good sign....

On the side note, life goes on... I suppose it's true but somehow to me, it does seem cruel at times. On the other hand, life needs to go on to mend all the broken dreams and let the new ones shine.

To Grandpa....

I always like to call him "grandpa" whenever I see him...
I even promised him that I would tell him the real reason why I called him that when we graduate next year...

He was stubborn like a little kid when we argue.

He would swear and cursed whenever he is pissed... even though he tried his best to control himself.

He would often call up and we would just talk nonsense, purely because he was bored or in a bad mood.

He would ALWAYS talk about FOOD.... his conversations about food were endless...

He gave me something odd on my birthday even though he didn't know it was my birthday that day.

His favorite phrases when talking to me were, "Don't fall down, ok?" and "You are beginning to trust my judgments now, aren't you?"

He would bring me to his favorite places to eat.

He would give me a ride home from school whenever he is on the way.

.......I have known the guy for just only six months! Just six months! Yet... He was a good friend to me...

These days, I kept thinking back about what he had said before.

He told me, "When everyone gets back from their holidays, I am going to have a party and I am going to cook for you guys."

"Maybe the first weekend of the new semester, we can go camping!"

"Next time, I will bring you to this nice place, the food there is awesome!"

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...........Nick, if I ever see you again, the first thing I would say to you is this...

"YOU MORON!" and I'm going to punch you in the stomach really hard.

I miss you, Grandpa...

A Friend Died....

............

Speechless.....

I didn't believe it when I received the news....

Just couldn't believe it......

Trust

Trust… Is it that hard to trust someone? Is it hard to believe in someone? No, it’s not difficult at all… It is so much easier to believe others than believing in your own self. They say it is because that you don’t have faith in yourself, that’s why people are doubtful of your capabilities. Then how much longer must one prove that he/she can be trusted? It is just plain irritating and discouraging at the same time when they are right in the end… It just lowers one’s self esteem… or is it just because of pride? Unwilling to admit defeat and proving the other is wrong… are all just self-pride, aren’t they? Sigh… emotionally it seems so complicated, clueless about how to deal with it.

Thankfully, at least I know now that when others do not have faith in you or your capabilities, do not trust in your capabilities to do a certain thing, no matter how hurt and useless you may feel, there will ALWAYS be ONE Person believing in you no matter how untrustworthy, irresponsible or despicable you are in person.

“Oh Lord Jesus, thank You Lord,

For having such a mercy on Your slave,

Thank You for loving me the way that I am,

Believing in me for the things that I thought that I could handle or couldn’t handle,

Lord, I am willing, willing to let Christ make home in my heart,

Lord, I want to live under Your light.

Lord, continue to expose me more and more in my daily living,

Turn me to You whenever and whatever,

May I become a useful vessel to You, Lord Jesus.

Cause me to believe You when my faith is small,

Cause me to trust You when my strength is frail,

Cause me to love You more and more,

To know You better. Amen”

NKOTB - Summertime

Old but they still got the right stuff. The ending a bit early 90s.

A Slothful Update

I'm just feeling so lazy to blog nowadays... actually just lazy to do anything at all. I'm just... sitting there... staring at my laptop.... hours after hours.... yeah, I know. It's not healthy. Anyway, just a very brief update on my very very short holiday.

Eat A LOT~! A lot as in until for a moment there I was afraid of good food.

Spend a lot of time meeting up with friends but always at the SAME place.
Love you, SIN and SOO. Can't wait to meet up with you guys again!

Went shopping with my Mum - She's on a mission to "feminine-ise" my wardrobe!

Read a spiritual book, entitled "CHARACTER".

Slept late - WEIRD for me because I sleep earlier in SJ.

Spoke to my two brothers - miss them.

So that wraps up my two weeks in Penang. I'm going to Sabah tomorrow! I am pretty excited and nervous about that. Classes starts next week!!! Where has all the time gone to?

Walk on Water

Sometimes I really do feel like Peter, one of the disciples.

Especially the part when the Lord was walking on water.

I can feel the Lord telling me, "O you of little faith~!"

Yes I do let the surroundings deceived me... well... most of the times.

Gotta learn to trust Him more. Have faith~!

banging my head against the wall

I need a plan.

Seriously, I do.

*giving a loud sigh* What can I do to make things better? It seems like everything is a mess.

I need to get organized - PERIOD.