Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Something I Never Thought I Would Tell

My tummy aches..... it's really messing up my emotions. Today, I went through pain to moodiness to isolation and to distractions. Was watching ANTM, short for America's Next Top Model. Watching other people fighting, arguing and getting on each others' nerves does distract the pain in my stomach. Sigh.... It's low and pathetic, I know. Yet, it is entertainment.

I used to imagine myself as somebody that is great - a model, singer or performer. Those types of jobs look absolutely glamorous and you don't see the how much hard work has been placed in it. That's why I used to think these types of profession looks easy. Imaging myself doing a little pose or sing or dance on stage. I still do it when I'm all alone. I put on my headphones, pump up the music and a totally different exciting person is out! Seems like there is a fantasy land where you can run to and be whatever you want to be without working hard or pleasing other people. Just having fun to believe that it is possible even though it is impossible. Have you try that before? In your little corner, when no one is around, doing things that you never thought that you would do? It's an amazing feeling and it does boost my confidence in myself. When I get my mind back to reality - to whatever I was doing, I said to myself, "I can do this!" :P

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